Love this: “If anyone thinks you are unemotional, boring and dull, it’s because they have not gained the trust to be in your inner circle. ”

via: theinfjden

(Source: darbright.com)

Can’t get this song out of my head! Love it.

(Source: Spotify)

Since making the decision to make some major changes on my personal Facebook profile earlier this week, I decided it was time to do some house cleaning on the web too. In the form of personal rebranding. 

Since 2011, I’ve owned the domain chante.me. I’ve used it as my “freelancer” pseudonym on the web. Over the years, I wrote several posts that usually included social media and internet marketing related topics with a dash of snark to boot. I also used the domain as a collective of case studies and projects I had the chance to work on over the years, which I moved a few to chantenewcomb.com. 

As the years passed, so did my sarcasm towards social media and how businesses were lacking when marketing on the internet. I was divided between biting my tongue and letting the snark rip, often teetering on being a complete bitch. I feel as if that doesn’t fit me anymore. 

In fact, the past 8 months have been such a mind blowing experience for me. There is no other way to describe it other than a complete 360 degree turn. If you would have asked me last September where I would be, I would have never guessed where I am today. Hence the need for personal rebranding. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, and well, a lot of time to move forward. 

Therefore, when you type in chante.me you come to my personal Tumblr blog. I decided to forgo the self-hosted WordPress account for numerous reasons. One being Tumblr’s ease of use on the go. The other, it’s informality. The domain seems more fitting for a personal account anyway.

Having a degree in internet marketing my initial thoughts were: oh crap, my Google ranking will fall, and I can only imagine the error messages that will haunt me forever when no one can find my blog. Not to mention all the SEO and work I’ve done over the years to rank highly for my terms. That’s when it hit me, I created it, and can again. So for now, it’s nice to have a personal blog where I can just be Chanté.  

Final mission: Blow up your account. 

Loving this new to me little band I just found.

With 40% of people in my age group with tattoos, you’d think they’d be more accepted in the modern workplace. Interesting read. 

visualoop:

Via

Songza, my go to for playlists without commercial interruptions.  

Love this town #PHX

Has Friendship become harder, or has Social Media made Friendship, harder? 

If you know me at all, then you know I use just about every social networking tool out there, for work or for personal use. Most of the time, I’m the first to try, and tell others. Pioneer? Possibly. More so, I just like to keep up with digital marketing trends, as well as be able to answer questions and offer advice to clients and friends. 

However, I’ve been noticing a downward spiral with friendships and social networking. At what point did it become so hard to maintain friendships, IRL? I’ve come across several articles lately that suggest it is harder to make friends as an adult. But, as a heavy social media user, I see this in all age groups. Just the other day, I noticed an exchange between lifelong friends on Facebook. They live in the same city, they exchanged a paragraph of dialogue, that ended with miss you, we should get together sometime, but I’ve been so busy lately, haven’t had the time. Talk about uncomfortable exchange. {I really want to hangout, but we won’t because I don’t want to make the time for our friendship. Miss you really.} 

I’m guilty as well. I have a friend of 10 years plus, who I’ve yet to catch up with offline since moving back to Phoenix. We have a great game going now. We make plans to do something, exchange cell numbers, then neither of us follows through with the actual meetup. Then we dodge each other on Facebook for a few weeks, until one of us cracks over a lame status update, and we talk again online proclaiming to meetup over coffee. Sad thing, we probably live 2 miles apart. 

Some may suggest we are too busy for friendships. As we age, other things become important in our lives, work, kids, you know life stuff. However, I’d like to disagree. I think we’re becoming lazy. 

When I lived in Chattanooga, I started a blogging group. The idea behind the group wasn’t only about blogging, it was more about forging real life relationships, as much as the love of blogging. I would plan something away from the computer at a restaurant or coffee house, then I’d pick someone from the group, to plan the next meetup. This way, everyone had a chance to pick something or go somewhere they loved, to share a part of themselves. It was fun for a few go arounds, but eventually most got “too busy” with life, to attend an hour blogup once every few months. 

Are human relationships are dwindling the more we become dependent on tools that are meant to be used in a social context? Maybe, but I think we should also have balance.

I see lots of people mixing social with real life, hell I do! Look at the popularity of Foursquare and Instagram, both are meant to be extremely social tools. However, I wonder, what about the relationship exchange that people miss out on while meeting a friend for coffee or an afternoon of shopping? Aren’t we missing something without the human voice, dialogue, and body language by being too busy, with our noises buried in status updates, and painting a pretty picture for those “lucky” enough to hangout with us offline? 

Being a heavy social media user for work and personal, I know I’m missing something. Shit, conversation is sexy! I leave you with my usual questions, why is it so damn hard to make, and even keep friends now? When did busy become the buzz word for, I really just dont want to make time for our friendship? 

And if you’re from the Phoenix area, how do you meet new friends? Tell me your story. 

My great grandpa once told me if I didn’t stop being so snarky, I’d never marry. I was 4. I’m now closer to 40 than 30, and still single. Damn. Guess I’d better straighten up so I can win someone over?!

Being single in a city as large as Phoenix can be good as well as bad. People here are always in a hurry. Whether it’s mindless chit-chat in line at Starbuck’s or you’re stuck in traffic with an angry guy flipping you off, people here just don’t seem to take the time like they have in other cities I’ve lived. So once again, here’s what I’ve come up with through various sources or personal experience: 

Clubs, Pubs, and Dive Bars. And apparently a good gay bar works too. Years ago, going out with girlfriends to a show or dive bar was the best way to meet a special someone if even only for a night or two. This even held true for when I first moved to Chattanooga. First two weeks there, I met someone at a bar. And actually ended up with a really long term relationship, well past the 5 year mark. 

We met because his friend asked us over to the table, and bam, we hit it off. At the time, I driving around Chattanooga with a Cracker Barrel map, and he offered to show me around the area. But not before he drew me a map on a napkin, a true Southern Gentlemen. Years later, it was an inside joke when friends would ask, How did you guys meet? I’d say, the frozen margarita place that many a one night stand was had in the bathroom, and after midnight, the clientele changed from students, and bachelorette parties to a gay bar. 

Now, back in Phoenix, this doesn’t seem like much fun. Staying out all night to meet that someone special at a bar? I’ve matured! As well as only have the occasional glass of wine with dinner. Besides, I prefer Vodka. 

Online Dating Service. Someone at the office suggested I try an online dating service. Hello? Do you know me at all? As much as I love the internets, I prefer love to roll me over gently, and in IRL (in real life). Nothing wrong with them. In fact, I have several family members that have been married well past the 20 year mark, that met online. It’s just not for me. 

Church. Now, this one may get me into some trouble, but this is my blog, and if you know me at all, you know I don’t partake. Growing up, we didn’t talk openly about religion. So you can imagine the shock living in the Bible Belt the past 10 years, when the first question was often, Where do you go to church hon? Most of the time, I’d say I church surfed, to avoid the dread look or being deemed a heathen.  A few times, I couldn’t get out of it, and ended up going. The worst? Group activities. I’d always be put in the single over 30’s group. Yeehaw! Men for days right? Wrong! 

Most of the men would be divorced a few times, with kids, and had the whole baby mama drama thing going on. I don’t have kids, never married, I was immediately an outcast, even more so than usual. Not to mention most of them wanted the white picket fence, mini van, and someone *just* like mom, or a Southern Belle. Not my scene. Let’s say, most didn’t like the fact I’m an extremely independent chick, who doesn’t like to cook nor understands the concept of fried pies. I’m one who has a potty mouth, can be extremely snarky, and doesn’t care for kids, not your typical bring home to mom, Southern Belle. 

Once again, back in Phoenix, just not my scene. 

So, what’s a girl to do? Nothing. I’m going to do what I do best, which is be me. I’ve never had issues with meeting people before, I’m obviously not a traditionalist, so why all of a sudden am I getting all sorts of relationship questions and advice? Besides, I’ve blogged my requirements and mentioned I’m taking applications. What more do I need? 

Until next time, I leave you with this, how did you meet your someone special? Tell me your story. 

Earlier this week I wrote about welcoming myself to living in Phoenix, and calling it home again. I mentioned how I’m ready after months of hibernation between looking for a job and an apartment, I was ready to get out and meet some people IRL. Gads! Yes, In Real Life, she wrote. 

I’m a very social person. I will talk to a wall if I have too. Plus, I’ve been talking with people from work, and they all agree, it is hard to meet new people in a city with millions of people. *Funny thing, we all agreed, but none of us stepped up to say, hey what are you doing this weekend? So, I resorted to the next best thing: The Internets. 

First thing, I came across some self-help bullshit about meeting people in a new city with a step by step tutorial. Seemed like good advice. Right? Not so fast…here is what I came up with:

Join a Group

I was extremely active as one of the leaders for Social Media Club of Chattanooga. I had the chance to meet all sorts of social media authors, go to several social media conferences, as well as meet more in the community. I loved it. Mixing social media with interaction in real life, planning fun events while tweeting about them, and meeting famous authors…who wouldn’t love it?  

Naturally I figured reach out to a similar group here. I sent an email introducing myself, as well as asked to receive updates on upcoming events. I’ve yet to get an email, and that was 4 months ago. I followed the account on Twitter and actively tried to chat. Nothing. Not a peep. Just me, talking to my wall. 

While sure, instead of bitch blogging behind my computer, I could reach out and go to a meeting. However, when I was involved in the other group, our welcome wagon was social in every aspect of the way. We followed people back, we answered emails, hell we even stalked people on Twitter alongside personal reminders to come. It was fun, and made people feel special. Not like some elite club that didn’t give a shit if you showed. Besides, we had Jason Falls, Mark Schaefer, and Ryan Sauers, speak. I haven’t seen that action in Phoenix yet. 

Maybe I *do* need a Princess welcome wagon with sparkles or something, but one of my strengths is making people feel welcome in new situations as well as reaching out to people online. Therefore, I expect a lot from groups that claim to be “social”. Perhaps too much? 

Go To An Industry Event

Another problem with getting “social” in a large town is a term I’m not used to seeing, yet see it everywhere! 

Add to Wait list? Really? This is the most ridiculous tactic I’ve seen to date, and have no comment at this time. I’m waiting to be added to this list here so I can maybe go to this awesome event. Waiting…can I please go to your awesome event? Please? 

Now, you might be wondering why I only have 2 on my list? I have yet to try out the other 37 tips, and I’m not sure if I will. I know comparing two cities to each other is ridiculous, as well as know reading self-help is like banging your head against a wall. But this time, I was just really looking forward to be a player, not a starter.

When I was in Chattanooga, if I didn’t see something, like a special group, I started it. I noticed a need for a blogging group in Chattanooga, I started one. I saw a need when I had a business for online scheduling for my customers, I made it happen. I see chances and take them, which can be exhausting, and fun all at the same time. I play well with others. However, some don’t like to play well with starters. 

As for my self-help article, screw it. I’ll just start something anyway. Let’s see what I end up with. 

I think I need this couch. Yeah, and the picture frames. Just box it and ship it. K?

(Source: cabbagerose)

Sometimes your dreams just aren’t what life has planned -Lady Antebellum

When we first moved to Austin, I think I was 4, maybe 5 years old. I still remember pulling up to these small row of apartments, where we would live for about a year or so. There was a little girl about my age playing in the front yard, I knew immediately we would be best friends and spend every waking hour together. 

10 years later, we moved back to Phoenix. A few years after, my little friend from Austin, came to visit. I had changed, she hadn’t. She was still the same person, in my eyes. I’m sure she had changed, even though I hadn’t seen it. She was still that little girl I used to boss around while we played store, and spent every waking hour together, all those years ago. 

When she came to visit, we were 15. Her parents sent her to us for the summer. Her stay was uncomfortable for both of us. It felt forced. I was off with my friends, going out to clubs, experimenting, and staying out all night. She wanted to stay in, and read. She was quiet, bookish, and socially awkward. Her friendship, was an after thought to me. Not that we weren’t friendly, we just had moved on from each other, years ago. 

I was so relieved when it was time for her to leave, and remember thinking how much she had changed after all. I’m sure she felt the exact same about me. Even though we both had changed, I felt a little pang when she left, I knew I’d never see her again. 

I think back, and I can’t imagine how she must have felt; being away from her friends, the people who knew her best, and her family. She was just in a different place than I could ever imagine. We were opposites. Always had been, but it took me until her visit to figure that out. 

A friend said something to me tonight that made me remember the little girl playing in her front yard years ago. They said, “Chattanooga is where your heart is” after a long discussion on Facebook on the topic of  how hard it is to meet new people in Phoenix, after being away for so long. 

You see, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect since I moved back to Phoenix in October. I’ve spent a lot of time here alone. Which as sad as that sounds, I’ve actually really needed it. I had a hard couple of years personally, and professionally before choosing to leave the Chattanooga area. Which, I’m sure anyone can relate to. 

So, exactly how do the two relate? I see my time in Chattanooga a lot like what happened between me and that little girl. We grew apart. Sure, we’ll always be friendly, but I’m in a different place now than I was. I feel relieved I’m not still in the same place I was, because it was a bad place to be, for me. Not that Chattanooga was a bad place, it was just we are complete opposites. Always have been. And it’s taken me until this moment to realize that I’ve changed, and I need different things now. 

Chattanooga is a great place, with great people, many of which I am proud to call friend. However, I moved there not knowing what I was getting myself into. I moved with both feet in the water, not knowing a single person, and found a lot of friends. At the time, I wanted an adventure, I got one, and survived. I think how will I survive now, away from friends, the people who know me best, and now, my family. Sure, it may be a little uncomfortable, hell even awkward at times, but I know I will find my way, just like my little friend from Austin. Besides, I’m ready for another adventure, and now ready after months of hibernation to jump in with both feet again. 

Welcome to Phoenix, where I call home. 

Last weekend my business parter and I opened Ego Beauty Studio. 

Overall I’d say out first week was a success, we broke even with sales, and out did ourselves with running a giveaway across 5 social media platforms at different times throughout opening day. Yet, I still found myself questioning, what the hell am I doing this for? I have a job, and this is a lot of work! Why do I always feel the need for more? Why can’t I be content with what I have? 

I mean, between coordinating shipping between customers, our personal schedules in different time zones, finding the time to think of crafty social media updates, blog posts, answering customer inquiries, and interviewing product distributors, it’s been work. I’m not even mentioning the painstaking hours upon hours it took us to get to open the virtual doors with building the site, writing all various product descriptions, and the hours of plotting and planning. I’ll be honest, the night before the contest, I almost gave up, and started questioning what we had started. 

Saturday morning, we had decided to run the contest, which as mentioned, spanned across several social media platforms. Afterwards, I was exhausted, giving advice and talking with people about beauty issues. It was in that moment, I remembered exactly why I was doing it. For the fun of it. 

Sure money is great, real great and I’d love for this to be a huge success, but when you get a rush like I did from Saturday, you get a good feeling. After talking with my business partner that night about the week, my fears for what may or may not happen, I suddenly felt better. We also decided something. I thought I’d share in the tweet below. 

We may not have sold out of everything, hell we may even fail miserably by next month, but we may succeed. Either way, we’ve tried it, and that’s more than I can say for most people. All is rad in the universe.